Monday, December 13, 2004

it's more than a month since I blog... guess I am getting into a "blog block" where there's alot of things happening and yet I can't seem to start from where to blog from. these 1 month have been pretty fuck up.

for a start, the past 2 weeks have seen me spending my time in mandai training ground doing defensive and offensive exercise. first the man fucked up, think I have been to welfare to them, so now they don't seem to react to my command or at least not at the very first notification. so in the end I have to recommand extra duties in order to get their ass moving. fucking no discipline in the field, when all I ask from them are just minimal discipline such as light, noise and simple tactical aspects.

more to come my section has got 6 man... 1 has just shotgun marriage, 1 got into a bike accident and I am having the risk to lose him from my section, 1 went awol, 1 got a fucking gals' mood swing, 1 have got a self esteem problem, lastly at least I have one that comes normal to me. if I can really command this crappy bunch, I would seriously consider opening a counselling centre lolx.

grass 4 has got some problem too... at a point I thought the whole gang would just split up, cos some of us has got too carried off with our future... affecting few of those that would settle for a simpler dream like me. I have big dream... but once I am there I would be contented cos I have been there a few time and I have been contented. though now the dream might be small, but I always believe no dream is too big or too small. so the concept works the same.

but han saw them on friday going off zouk together so I guess everything is back to normal... hopefully so. "guys you all know I really can't afford to lose you bunch of good buddies."

there's alot more shitty issues that I really can't bring to blog... otherwise this entry would be irreadable lolx. so I have been clubbing and drinking during these few book out, watch quite bit of movies, when I am out these days. I try to make myself occupied so as not to be brooding over all these shit.

"I am a normal person who lives in a mad and fucked up world... hmm hmm I love this world of chaos... do I not?"