Tuesday, June 15, 2004

suddenly miss alot things, the nicoll highway that I used to rode on during my school days, the laughters and shouts in my neighbouring blocks that I played "block catching", >"ham tam bolla", >"tua bei long", >"police and thief"

just came back home as I sat donwstair for a while taking a smoke and having a quiet moments with myself. alot of things flash through my mind and I realize that for the past 4 to 5 years I seem to lose more than what I gain in life. maybe because what I gain are more of sadness than happiness.

but knowing that the more somethings wants to make me down and never to get up makes me more wanting to stand up to it and defeat it. guess that's in my blood. and I realize "that's me" the one side of me that I have lost during these years. which make me feels that nothing really matter to me much as long as the breath is still in this body.

just came back from visiting my mum "the only one angel in my life that knows the real me." I really thank god for giving me such a wonderful mum, that went through some of the most gruelling things in in life and yet manage them all in her strides.

talk to her about alot of things including my ex and her going on now. which I told her the ultimate truth that she left me for someone richer, and she says she is not. letting me just to know now, she even intends to get marry with the guy.

wow I can't get any head or tail why she can marry off someone which she just know for 3 years as classmate and 4 months plus as a bf. rather than one guy she stick through thick and thin with for 2.5 years. making me think back that she might just have 2 timing me all those time when we are together. which is the only possible and logical answer to the "no head or tail" ponder.

I guess money really makes the world go round. a friend's quote which I now truly believes "some girls like to sit on bike, but all girls like to sit in car."

boy was I amazed that my mum did not even react at all and just say as a matter of factly that this is the love nowdays. "cool mum wait a go"

booking in tomorrow to start my journey to my sergeanthood. which now I am looking forward to rather than the depressed feeling that I have a few days a go lolx.

oh yah by the way haha just remember suddenly that troy make me realize that there's 2 kind of girls in the world. the girl that love you for who you are as a guy who have ambitions and fighting it from scratch, die trying to protect what you believes in, and be proud of you. another wants you to be just by her side, no matter you are a coward, a person who depends on someone esle.

treat the above like nonsense that I have figure out after so long a time. which many might have already realize and me as usual the slow learner just got it right and put it into words hehe "I am a slow walker, but I never walk backwards. keep walking" lincoln abraham

"so now what are you like? and by the way such lass... good luck "boy boy"