I am tired.

fucking tired of people who come to you when they need you, and fucking only care about their life and problem.

I am sick.

sick of people who i am sincere to, and I ended up being exploit.

stop calling me brother, buddy if you don't even fucking care about my life. do you all even know what date it is tomorrow.

even a normal friend call and say happy birthday to me, ask me out.

even my good friends organize themselves and call me out to celebrate my birthday.

and that call yesterday just ruin my birthday mood THANKS! I make my stand clear, so why ask another person to ask me. cant you ask me yourself again, have you make even slight effort to make arrangement if u are sincere to ask me for help.

if you cant be bother and put down your ego even though it is your WEDDING, I dont care either.

so what if I say I promise someone else who call me earlier to go out.

so what if I say I am busy.

when I plan or call last minute, you all can flatly say that you guys have something on, but why do you demand that I put down everything when you guys organize things last minute, say things that put me in a difficult position fuck.

I have buddies and brothers who knows me even shorter period of time, when thing happen. you can tell them the truth and they trust you, no question asked and no demand made. isnt buddies or brother suppose to let us feel this way?

yea friends and buddies are different, and I guess this is it.

what am I to you all, ask me to cancel this, do that at the first notice of problem when you all have. if you are my buddies, you wouldnt have leave such mess, demand and put me in such a difficult position.

my life dont revolve around you all only, and sad to say. my tribal unity sense is not all that great either.

now I say this is my life and I do as I please. I speak my heart and if I hurt anyone that's just too bad. I maybe easy going but that doesnt make me a pushover.

I know of a brother who went through all these but never put it to words, brother this is for you. for I finally understand how fuck up it is to went through all this shit, and you just tell yourself you are compromising.

if you think I am selfish and fuck up, SO BE IT.